{"id":1192,"date":"2020-08-27T09:40:25","date_gmt":"2020-08-27T16:40:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/?p=1192"},"modified":"2020-10-26T10:31:01","modified_gmt":"2020-10-26T17:31:01","slug":"yen-when-the-cheeseburger-calls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/08\/27\/yen-when-the-cheeseburger-calls\/","title":{"rendered":"Yen – When the Cheeseburger Calls – An Excerpt from my novel Gutter Folklore"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gutter Folklore is a collection of stories I wrote waaaay back when, some of my first attempts to write short stories and a somewhat cohesive narrative. It’s also the stories where I initially developed the extra-urban punk-crust extraordinaire Skye<\/a>, a persistent character in my fiction.<\/i><\/p>\n

This book is currently available on Amazon!<\/a><\/i><\/center><\/p>\n
Cruising on a morning shot, Yuri sat at the kitchen table sipping at the last remnants of room temperature coffee. None of his fellow Hell Nosers were wandering around the house. He knew a few people had gone off to work and there might be a few people still crashed in their rooms.<\/div>\n
Yuri was thinking about food. He hadn\u2019t had a decent meal in a couple of days, and there wasn\u2019t anything around the kitchen that could provide him with anything resembling any appreciable amount of sustenance. He already knew this even without looking through the fridge and cupboards.<\/div>\n
The desire for a good meal was rather askew for Yuri, for full fledged meals were hardly ever a concern for him, but his blood had been driven too thin and his yearnings gave way to a pointed sense of hunger.<\/div>\n
This morning his hunger had driven his brain to a single minded want:<\/div>\n
Splitway\u2019s.<\/div>\n
Splitway\u2019s was a cool and funky burger joint just off of lower Haight. Yuri had that particular restaurant on his mind because of the gigantic cheeseburgers they served there. The cheeseburgers there always had a thick layer of cheese, thick onions, and tons of fresh mayonnaise. Yuri was driving himself crazy just by thinking about it.<\/div>\n
Though fatigued by horse rides and low blood sugar, Yuri decided he had to make the journey. It had been too long since he had been there. Something in his soul desired the reacquaintance with wondrous mastications gone by. Despite his burning burger desire, Yuri wondered if he could make it there, as he felt especially drained this day. He also had to wonder how he managed to bring himself to this lost craving. The memory, not only of the place, but of his edible lust for their fare, seemed to jam itself into his mind as if out of nowhere. <\/div>\n
Yuri observed himself and realized that such a trek called for some more personal grooming. He took himself to the shower where he almost fell asleep standing up for the rush of warm water. <\/div>\n
Searching through his room for some decent clothes, the cleanest shirt he could find was a Hop Skivvy shirt. He stared at the front of the shirt, wondering if he could dare walk the streets with such an old and hackneyed logo of a once proud and raucous punk band that had gotten popular and sold out a few years ago.<\/div>\n
After several minutes of pondering and a few more inspections of his other shirts he realized that the Hop Skivvy shirt was the only decent thing to wear, being as every other shirt was too radioactively grody, even by his non-discriminatory personal standards. If he wanted to wander the streets full of people and sit in a restaurant, he had better swallow his pride and risk looking like a poseur. <\/div>\n
Yuri had to stare at the shirt for awhile before he could bring himself to put it on. He cursed himself for having kept it at all.<\/div>\n
Reluctantly decked out in his poseur duds, Yuri staggered back into the kitchen. He felt his limbs list under the weight of his fatigue and he realized he needed some temporary sustenance. He looked around and remembered that he had already exed the last of the coffee. His eyes fell on the sight of some of Pel\u2019s rice cakes.<\/div>\n
Yuri made his way to the living room while gnawing at a rice cake. He had been reluctant to do it, since consuming a Splitway cheeseburger would be quite a feat in itself. He didn\u2019t want to ruin his delicate appetite with any amount of preliminary food, even if it was just a wimpy little rice cake. It was a trial, choking the rice cake down his dry throat, but he wanted to have something to give him some kind of extra energy on his quest.<\/div>\n
Yuri spaced out on the couch as his shallow reserve of energy worked on digesting the rice cake. Yuri looked towards the blank TV screen, pondering how weird it looked when it wasn\u2019t actually on, which was rare.<\/div>\n
Yuri\u2019s eyes started to droop. He felt clean and fresh after his shower and change of clothes, giving his rejuvenated skin a warm, blanket feeling.<\/div>\n
Suddenly, from the back of the house, a couple of soft thuds. Then a door opening and closing. Someone had just woken up.<\/div>\n
The shirt!<\/div>\n
Yuri shot up from the couch and quickly shuffled to the door, opening and closing it as quietly as possible so as not to arouse suspicion. He crept down the front steps of Hell Nose House, jamming his hands in his Derby coat pockets, trying to cover up the Hop Skivvy shirt.<\/div>\n
He didn\u2019t feel as burnt out as he had anticipated as he started to drudged down the street. But he kept in mind that he had just started his journey. The wind was kicking up, shoving away what little heat came down from the partially hidden sun.<\/div>\n
The street was fairly crowded. Just Joe Shmoes and Jane Does here. No need to worry about the shirt just yet. Yuri would flinch when short spikey colored hair would approach, or an all black wardrobe.<\/div>\n
A slight trip. His ankles felt weak. Yuri forgot about the shirt and concentrated on walking. The wind sent an army of cold ants running across his skin, followed by the flow of numb goose pimpled warmth. That helped him along as he was energized by the rush of his wriggling nerve endings.<\/div>\n
After a few blocks the landscape wasn\u2019t so drab. Yuri saw the four corners of an intersection stationed with Socialists trying to hock their newspapers. It was a welcome sight. Yuri usually knew one or two of them when he ran into this cross section assault.<\/div>\n
Sure enough, he noticed his friend Brit who was calling out to disinterested passersby. No doubt he would welcome someone to talk to. Yuri crossed over to his corner.<\/div>\n
\u201cHey Brit, whatcha doin\u2019 out here?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cJust talkin\u2019 to people. Tryin\u2019 to sell some papers.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cCool man. Keep up the good fight.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cEchh. It\u2019s a drag man. Sometimes I wonder if I should just chuck it. It don\u2019t seem like nobody\u2019s listening or caring at all.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cCome on man, there gotta be plenty of freaks around here.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah, but most of them don\u2019t care about this stuff. Especially those stupid little fashion punks.\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cI know what you mean. I got into a fight with my friend Sherrie about the police crackdown in the park. She was all talkin\u2019 about how they were supposed to be just busting gutter punk.\u201d<\/div>\n
\n
\u201cShe said that all the gutter punks were just a buncha rich kids tryin\u2019 to be cool.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat a load a\u2019 shit!\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah. She got that from reading the paper. We were debating it<\/div>\n

and getting all worked up and then I lost it and called her a fascist. She totally blew up at me.\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cIs that Sherrie who used to hang out at Beller\u2019s?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYou called her a fascist?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah. She started screaming, \u2018My dad\u2019s a socialist! I went to protests in a stroller!’\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWow. What a trip.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah. Innocence by association. You know you\u2019ve won when they start doing that.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHey man, nice shirt.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yuri winced. He had forgotten to cover up his shirt.<\/div>\n
\u201cUh\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cMan, they kicked ass back in the old days.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cUh huh.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBefore they sold out that is.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yuri tilted on his feet. \u201cHey dude, I should be gettin\u2019 goin\u2019.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSure thing. Seeya around.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yuri leaned down the street. He realized he had taken too long to talk to his friend. His urgent hunger was getting worse.<\/div>\n
Yuri continued his journey, using the waning tilt of his legs to propel himself forward as his empty stomach started curling up on itself. Sullen thoughts about stopping at a random burrito or pizza stand troubled his mind as he contemplated the possibility that he might not have the energy or gumption to make it all the way to Splitway’s. He spurred himself on by imagining the cheese and onions and mayo. That fueled his drive. The thick slabs of cheese, the gobs of mayo and the thick, fresh onions. He could only hope that their burgers were still prepared as they had been in the past.<\/div>\n
A dark cloud rolled over, partially blocking out the sun. The wind kicked up, the cold air whistled through his clothes, sending more shivers through him.<\/div>\n
The streets seemed empty as he approached lower Haight. Turning a corner, the multitudes of pedestrians melted off to practically nothing. In mere moments warm and crowded went to cold and desolate. The setting fueled his mood, but not his drive. He kept turning over the thoughts of mayo and cheese in his mind. He tried to count the blocks in his head. Anticipating that the next stretch of neighborhood would only be two or three blocks long, he discovered it was more like five or six. Yuri wondered what other surprises his faulty memory would give him on this short excursion.<\/div>\n
Long on one hand and short on the other. Suddenly the familiar street was right in front of him. Yuri made it to lower Haight faster than he had anticipated.<\/div>\n
A few quickly turned corners and there it was. Yuri\u2019s bones heaved a sigh of relief as he saw the funky old neon Splitway\u2019s sign.<\/div>\n
The place was nearly empty. Only two customers at the counter. Stepping into the dark eatery he realized a third customer was scrunched up in the corner. For a moment he wondered if the place was even open.<\/div>\n
\u201cHave a seat,\u201d called out the long hair from behind the counter. \u201cI\u2019ll be with ya\u2019 in a minute.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yuri was glad to see another corner table was empty. He started to wander to the dark table and then turned on his heel as he realized he should probably give his order at the counter in deference to the hard working burnout behind the counter. It had been a long time since he had been there and he was starting to forget the etiquette of this particular dive. Yuri moseyed his way to a stool and leaned down on the counter. The long hair walked right up to him.<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019ll it be?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cA cheeseburger with everything, an order a\u2019 fries and a large coke.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cGotcha.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNice shirt,\u201d said the long hair as he pointed to the Hop Skivvy logo.<\/div>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d muttered the mortified Yuri.<\/div>\n
The long hair went off to give the cook the order. Yuri went over to the corner table as he wondered whether he had been kidding or not.<\/div>\n
As he sat down his stomach seemed to twist itself into a knot. His left arm trembled. Yuri\u2019s thoughts shot off into the realization that he might start having a bad detox. Not what he needed right before trying to chow down a large cheeseburger. His forehead ached as he looked straight out to a wall, trying to concentrate on the grain of the wall\u2019s wood as a sharp pain stabbed the bottom of his stomach. He couldn\u2019t tell if it was from withdrawal or hunger. He hardly ever went out to eat. The funky dive looking eatery was a special occasion for Yuri. At one time he had been eating there once or twice a week, back when he was in his late teens. Only a few years back seemed like a lifetime ago, as his energies had turned inward to his personal habits in the last few years.<\/div>\n
As the long hair came to his table with his plate of food and drink, the situation seemed almost surreal. It seemed as if the long hair had to strain to lower the plate. The burger looked impossibly huge as it had been jammed up against a voluminous mound of fries.<\/div>\n
\u201cEnjoy.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/div>\n
Yuri\u2019s eyes rested on the food. He very much doubted his ability to eat it all, but he would give it his best shot.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later Yuri had eaten every crumb. He almost felt as if he could eat another one. The cheeseburger was as good as he had remembered it.<\/div>\n
Slowly he rose from the table, weighted down by the biggest meal he had eaten in months. <\/div>\n
\u201cHow was it?\u201d asked the long hair.<\/div>\n
\u201cAlmost as good as heroin,\u201d replied the smiling Yuri.<\/div>\n
\u201cOh man!\u201d<\/div>\n
The sky was grayer, the wind was harder and the air was colder, but Yuri\u2019s energy started to pick itself up in a surprising way. For once he liked the feel of the cold, rushing wind and the dark, roiling sky. A rare moment free from the usual oppression of junky existence.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Gutter Folklore available
\nfor Kindle and in Paperback
\n on Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gutter Folklore is a collection of stories I wrote waaaay back when, some of my first attempts to write short stories and a somewhat cohesive narrative. It’s also the stories where I initially developed the extra-urban punk-crust extraordinaire Skye, a persistent character in my fiction. This book is currently available on Amazon! 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