{"id":1285,"date":"2020-09-24T20:02:57","date_gmt":"2020-09-25T03:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/?p=1285"},"modified":"2020-09-24T20:02:57","modified_gmt":"2020-09-25T03:02:57","slug":"when-you-used-to-be-poor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/","title":{"rendered":"When you used to be poor &#8211; Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I used to be poor. And I mean dirt poor: Wondering where my next meal was coming from, wearing clothes until they were falling apart, and living in slumlord housing with leaking pipes and faulty wiring. I have used food banks before, and I even went to a food line for poor and homeless people a couple of times, because there were a few nights I could not sleep because my stomach was empty and I had no money and no food. <\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s hard to sleep when your stomach is cramping up because you haven&#8217;t eaten anything all day.<\/p>\n<p>Some people have had it or have it worse. I&#8217;ve never spare changed on the street, (Except once for fun just to see what it was like, after which I gave my sparse amount collected change to one of the homeless panhandlers when I was done,) I&#8217;ve never sold blood or plasma for money, I never parted with any of my LPs no matter how desperate I got, and I never went as far as shoplifting, though I did participate in some questionable maneuvers in order to acquire such things as foodstuffs, such as mislabelling a bulk food item with a cheaper version of whatever it was I was buying at the time. And most importantly, I&#8217;ve never been truly homeless. I&#8217;ve always had some place to stay, even if it meant crashing with friends or family. I was never forced to sleep outside or got to a homeless shelter, though I can easily imagine what that would be like.<\/p>\n<p>I do not suffer any of those trials right now. I live in a nice house and I have a decent income. (Even though I lost out on a good chunk of income this year because of Covid-19.) I buy the food I want, and I have nice new clothes to wear.<\/p>\n<p>But the memory and experience of poverty still hangs over me. Call it body memories, call it PTSD, call it what you will. I will be more attracted to the regular mushrooms because they&#8217;re slightly cheaper than the organic mushrooms. I might balk at buying a piece of new clothing if I think they&#8217;re charging too much for it, and I hate to waste food. I try to make sure that everything I buy gets consumed at some point or another. I also try to take everything as far as I can. To wit: This nearly-finished bottle of olive oil, of which I am trying to extract as much olive oil from it as possible before putting the bottle in the recycling.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\" width=\"300\"><i>Must use up all<br \/>\nof the olive oil!<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Even though I can afford to buy new clothes I have trouble throwing clothes out. Back in my poverty days I would literally wear clothes until they were basically or totally unwearable. I learned how to sew by hand because I was always repairing rips and tears in jeans and jackets, trying to make them last as long as possible. A few times I put cardboard in my shoes when I had finally worn small holes in the soles, because when you&#8217;re really poor you tend to do a lot of walking to save bus fare and subway money, and shoes wear out faster than any other piece of clothing when you have limited means.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s hard for me to let go of clothes. Maybe this t-shirt is a little faded, and maybe those socks are a little worn, but the desire to hang onto them always pulls at me. The urge to get as much mileage out of something is a proclivity that has been indelibly ingrained on me. I have gotten better at getting rid of worn clothes however, even though it&#8217;s contrary to my instincts. There are some articles of clothing I hang onto for nostalgic reasons, and I almost never throw out my running shirts. They are my trophies! <\/p>\n<p>With food I try to make sure nothing gets wasted, even though I can afford good food now. I will cook and eat those veggie sausages because if I don&#8217;t use them soon they will go bad. And I hang onto slightly bruised bananas because they were meant to be eaten, not composted before their time. Sure, there might be one or two inedible sections, but I will try and eat as much of it as possible.<\/p>\n<p>My old habits are also spurred on by events. I am a website consultant and a web application engineer, but I also work for the Oakland A&#8217;s during Major League baseball season selling tickets. This year I have gotten no ticket selling work from the Oakland A&#8217;s because of the Covid-19 pandemic. The Oakland A&#8217;s are playing games, but without fans. And without fans myself and hundreds of other A&#8217;s employees have been denied a significant chunk of change.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not as bad for me as it is for many of my coworkers. Many of my fellow A&#8217;s employees rely on sports and arena events for their living. I have income outside of the Oakland A&#8217;s, so I&#8217;m fortunate. But the specter of becoming destitute, of losing my jobs and being denied income and being thrown back into poverty is a very stark thing with me. I do not currently have a rock solid forty hour a week job with a steady income and benefits. I do a lot of hustling for the website consulting and contract work that I do get. My economic circumstances could easily become precarious yet again.<\/p>\n<p>So yeah, I will buy green bell peppers rather than my beloved red bell peppers because they&#8217;re cheaper. I will hang onto that old punk shirt even though it has become faded to the point where I rarely wear it out anymore. And yeah, I&#8217;ll continue to be frugal and save money and try my best to stave off my worst nightmare.<\/p>\n<p>Because honestly, I sometimes convince myself that I would rather die than go back to living like that. Living life on the edge is just too much.<\/p>\n<p><center><br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/factory-4032736_960_720.jpg\" width=\"400\"><br \/>\n<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I used to be poor. And I mean dirt poor: Wondering where my next meal was coming from, wearing clothes until they were falling apart, and living in slumlord housing with leaking pipes and faulty wiring. I have used food banks before, and I even went to a food line for poor and homeless people &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I used to be poor. And I mean dirt poor: Wondering where my next meal was coming from, wearing clothes until they were falling apart, and living in slumlord housing with leaking pipes and faulty wiring. I have used food banks before, and I even went to a food line for poor and homeless people ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Terminal Berkeley Denizen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"termberkden\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"termberkden\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"termberkden\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31\"},\"headline\":\"When you used to be poor &#8211; Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\"},\"wordCount\":1047,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\",\"name\":\"When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":1626},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"When you used to be poor &#8211; Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/\",\"name\":\"Terminal Berkeley Denizen\",\"description\":\"The Journal of Jeffrey Vernon Matucha\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31\",\"name\":\"termberkden\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"termberkden\"},\"description\":\"I am a writer, a software engineer, and a refugee from the punk\/metal\/new wave\/my-God-what-did-we-do-last-night daze of the San Francisco scene. I write, I run, I actually stop and smell the roses, I meow back at cats, and I pet strange yet friendly dogs.\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/author\/termberkden\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen","og_description":"I used to be poor. And I mean dirt poor: Wondering where my next meal was coming from, wearing clothes until they were falling apart, and living in slumlord housing with leaking pipes and faulty wiring. I have used food banks before, and I even went to a food line for poor and homeless people ...","og_url":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/","og_site_name":"Terminal Berkeley Denizen","article_published_time":"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"termberkden","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"termberkden","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/"},"author":{"name":"termberkden","@id":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31"},"headline":"When you used to be poor &#8211; Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty","datePublished":"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/"},"wordCount":1047,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/","url":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/","name":"When you used to be poor - Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty - Terminal Berkeley Denizen","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg","datePublished":"2020-09-25T03:02:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/olive_oil_preservation.jpg","width":1500,"height":1626},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/2020\/09\/24\/when-you-used-to-be-poor\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"When you used to be poor &#8211; Living in a Comfortable World after Poverty"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#website","url":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/","name":"Terminal Berkeley Denizen","description":"The Journal of Jeffrey Vernon Matucha","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/#\/schema\/person\/92e1ac1fd2c726777a034d122a953b31","name":"termberkden","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9340c1b733b8fe70cca17895291bcdf3a43308fd0d6e0b766fda1f70b0e70e3?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"termberkden"},"description":"I am a writer, a software engineer, and a refugee from the punk\/metal\/new wave\/my-God-what-did-we-do-last-night daze of the San Francisco scene. I write, I run, I actually stop and smell the roses, I meow back at cats, and I pet strange yet friendly dogs.","url":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/author\/termberkden\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1285"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1293,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1285\/revisions\/1293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/needlepictures.com\/tbd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}