Back in the day, and this was a long time ago, I had a friend who was really into heavy metal. He was also quite the obsessive sort.

Anywho he came up to me one day all excited because he had heard a new band. He was practically giddy, grinning and bright-eyed about his new discovery. He insisted I stop by his place and hear this epic new band.

Putting on the LP, a heavy metal riff started. I pretty much expected it to be heavy metal since that’s all he was listening to at the time. Then the vocals kicked in, and a really high-pitched voice started wailing. And I mean really high-pitched. This falsetto was comically way past the resonance of a car alarm. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”sung this voice, in as high a register as he could muster. I was momentarily stunned as I thought, “What the hell?”

The man’s voice was so comically high-pitched that I just couldn’t take it anymore. I started laughing. Like, really hard belly laughing. I felt that anyone trying to get his voice past the high frequency of a guinea pig squeak was simply hilarious.

My friend was not amused. He was literally trembling with anger and looking at me with utter hate.

“WHAT’S SO FUNNY?” he growled. Yes, he didn’t just say it, he actually growled that out.

I was convinced that he had put on a parody of heavy metal music, that it was supposed to be a comical take on all of those heavy metal singers trying to out Robert Plant each other.

I was all, “Dude, this is hilarious! Who is this? Is this Weird Al Yankovic? It’s Weird Al, isn’t it?”

“IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!” he growled, in pretty much the same outraged timbre as the first statement.

I was momentarily stunned again. “It isn’t?” I replied, very confused.

Turns out the singer was King Diamond, as he tried to break the glass for his band Mercyful Fate. To this day I just cannot take him seriously. I think his voice is just too much, and a prime example of someone trying too hard.

Yes, I mistook King Diamond for Weird Al!

#NotSorry