Years ago I went to a friend’s baby shower. I knew the couple was expecting a girl, and I was wandering around a toy store wondering what to get the upcoming mini-me of my friend.

I wasn’t sure what to get until I saw it in the store. I knew when I spotted it that it would be the perfect gift.

During the gift unwrapping portion of the baby shower the couple received many nice and practical gifts, such as car seats, baby blankets, clothes, and toys. When the mother-to-be was given my present she looked at it curiously, as it was oddly shaped. Basically it was a pseudo-pyramid, principally because of the box it came in. When she unwrapped it, she stopped for a moment. In fact, the everyone at the shower stopped. They all suddenly stood still and fell silent as they saw my gift: A small basketball for toddlers known as a basketsmall.

It was a big “Oh!” moment. Many of the gifts were not gender specific, but some were, especially the clothes. The guests at this particular baby celebration were not necessarily conservative or traditional, in fact many of them were fairly progressive, but my having brought a gift that included sports equipment as a gift for a girl definitely goosed these people’s internal cultural bias. When buying gifts for children, toddlers, or kids who are still forming in the womb I generally buy such things as puzzles, books, and sports equipment. And these days I definitely emphasize sports and exercise equipment if the to-be-gifted-offspring is female.

Bias has a way of seeping into peoples thinking. It’s so pervasive in our society that in sneaks in and people end up practicing prejudice without even knowing it. Cultural sexism, racism, classism, and ableism all have their insidious ways of sneaking into our thoughts and actions, and I know that even I am not immune to such forces, which is why I try to stay on top of myself when it comes to bias.

As for my friend’s baby shower, I was rather proud of myself that day. Yes indeedy!