Lessons learned from my life maneuvers!

Asking Around

I was in Phoenix, having just finished up a long distance relay race. And I needed a last minute airport hotel. (I had failed to plan ahead.) I grabbed one at the last minute using one of those those travel sites on my smartphone and booked an airport hotel, as I was flying out the next day.

Turned out I didn’t get an airport hotel, even though I had searched specifically for an airport hotel. The place I booked ended up being several miles away from the airport.

It was too late to cancel the reservation so I went to the night clerk and asked him how to get to the airport. He said I would have to take a cab and it would cost about forty dollars.

I was pretty bummed about that. I was quite tired from the relay, so I just went to bed without making any more inquiries. The next day I asked the morning clerk if he knew how to get to the airport, figuring maybe he would have a different answer. He said you had to take a cab, but he had a buddy who would do it for just twenty dollars. He handed me his card.

I was pretty psyched to find out I could get a cab ride for half as much. But just for kicks I walked around outside the hotel. I found a bus parked at a bus stop with a driver who was taking a break. I asked the driver if you could take the bus to the airport. He told me to catch the same bus across the street. It would only cost a couple of bucks.

After I checked out of the hotel I found the bus across the street. A young man was driving the bus and there was no one on it, as it apparently was the start of the route. I talked to him about getting to the airport and he told me where to go. When I tried to pay my fare he waved me off, letting me on for free since I was his first rider.

So I went from having to take a cab for forty dollars to getting a free bus ride because I kept asking around and exploring.

Asking out a Scene Queen

Back in my raucous days as a crazy music aficionado I knew a scene queen, a member of clubber royalty. She was tall. She had golden blonde hair. She had beautiful porcelain skin, stunning eyes, and she had a body like a fifties pin up. And she was as cool as ice, in her manner and her speech and her presence.

I took one look at her and thought, “Out of my league.” But then I thought, what the hell have I got to lose? The worst she could do is totally shoot me down and completely destroy my ego, right? So I asked her if she wanted to go to an art show at a West Oakland industrial art gallery. She responded by looking me right in the eye and said “Are you asking me out?”

I was all “Errrrrrrrrmmmm…” I think I did that for about a minute since her reaction really threw me off. I finally said “Yes, I am.”

Her face brightened up and she said “Oh! I would love to go out with you!”

I was quite stunned. I was convinced that if I did have a shot with such a scene queen that I would have to invest quite a bit of wooing and groveling and working my masculine wiles to win her over. I thought to myself “That was easy!”

Then she said “No one ever asks me out.”

I was all “Really?”

Because she looked like a woman who could not walk around the block without getting hit on ten times. But I came to realize that just about everyone else that saw her was scared and intimidated by her. So it turns out I got to go out with her simply because I had the guts to actually approach her.

The most important thing about this story is that I realized I had made all kinds of assumptions about myself, and also about her, and how I thought and felt about myself and her was way off the mark. Sometimes your own intuition can lead yourself astray, and it can also color the way you perceive others in ways you did not expect.

The Drug Kingpin

I’ve written about my drug addiction and alcoholism before. (And let’s face it, no one can read my novels and not deduce that I had something to do with drugs and addiction!) But I was not simply a drug addict, I was also a drug dealer for a while.

Specifically meth. I got into the business because of my “toxic twin”, a friend of mine who knew a supplier. He had been buying small dealer amounts from him so he could sell half and quarter grams of speed. And he decided I should meet him so I could get in on the action.

I drove from Berkeley to a town in the North Bay, about a half hour drive, to meet his supplier. He had to get permission from the supplier to bring me along. He simply couldn’t have shown up with me without telling him. That would have been bad.

While we were driving out there he gave me the lowdown on this big-time dealer known as “The Big G.” (Not his real nickname.) He explained to me that he was a serious dealer, not like the penny-ate dealers we had known. He sold significant weight for serious addicts and drug dealers. He told me he was down with the biker gangs who manufactured the stuff. (This was some time ago before it all started coming from South of the border.) He told me he was serious business, that when I was around him I had to watch what I said and watch what I did. My friend informed me that he knew people who could beat me up and even kill me, so when I was around him I had to carefully watch what I said and what I did.

I was getting quite nervous. I was going to meet some dangerous gangster, some big time hood who was really dangerous.

We got to his place, which was a large apartment above a store. His living room was crowded with guitars, basses, a drum set, and a huge mixing board. (I understand he was a big hit at Guitar Center.) The Big G gave us beers, he gave us lines of speed, and the Big g was a really funny guy. He was cracking one joke after another and everyone in the room was rolling with laughter.

Everyone except for my friend, who kept looking nervous with wide, deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes and wringing his hands.

When my toxic twin friend went to the bathroom, the Big G turned to me and said “Man, that guys gotta learn how to relax!”

Big G was a big time dealer, who could be dangerous if he wanted to, but he never would have anyone hurt unless he had a really good reason to do so. And Big G’s main goal in life was to party and have fun. He was generous and funny as hell. Seriously, you could have been in the worst mood and he would have you laughing uproariously after a few minutes.

Which just goes to show, sometimes fear is something we put over a situation when there’s no need.