Inspired by a flurry of “RIP (a close friend of mine)” a few weeks ago amongst my Facebook circles for a longtime friend who was not actually in fact dead, but still very much alive, an event which caused a lot of people unwarranted anguish, frantic phone calls, and sleepless nights.
1.) When discovering a friend, relative, or loved one has passed on, please consider whether or not the deceased’s close friends and family have been informed of said person’s passing before blorping it all over Facebook. A Facebook post is not the best way to find out a loved one is gone when you were very close to that person.
2.) When informing your Facebook friends list that one of their friends has gone to the great beyond, tell people how and when the person passed. DO NOT assume that your friends have already heard about said passing and already know the details. Unless the reason needs to be subverted for discretion’s sake, (For example a suicide,) everyone’s first question is “What happened?”, and the omission of cause of death will cause a flurry of frantic mesages, emails and phone calls. Yes, you want to be poetic and dramatic, but give up the deets!
3.) When reporting the passing of a loved one on Facebook, it is imperative, and this is above all else the most important point, to make sure that the deceased person in question is actually deceased, and is not in fact, still alive!
4) And, finally, (Let’s just get real about this,) telling your friends about a mutual friend’s passing via Facebook is just a bad idea in the first place. Yeah, it’s convenient, and you want to demonstrate your righteous and dignified mourning to your pals, but Facebook announcements are better for the happier details in life or for venting your own personal anguish. If you need to let out your own depression, turmoil, or anger onto the Facebook world amidst the running updates and the latest hot FB meme to vent, get support, or try to inspire catharsis, that’s fine. But who wants to find out their bestie bit the dust because they saw a post squeezed between a cat video and a petition link? Call. Email. Go over to their house and tell them face-to-face. Don’t Facebook an epitaph. At least not right away. Wait for a while until you’re sure everyone already knows through other means of communication. Then you can demonstrate your social media mourning.
Remember, when it comes to the passing of friends and family, you do not own the shock and sadness. Keep in mind your community when making these announcements, for everyone’s sake.
