Attention: This contains SPOILERS!!! So if you haven’t seen the finale’ to the latest TWD season DON’T READ IT!!! You have been warned!!!
From: The Executives at AMC
To: The writers and producers of The Walking Dead
Re: Latest season of The Walking Dead and its Finale’
Congratulations on another job and Walking Dead season well done! This season ended with a healthy Negan and Saviors gearing up for another round of perpetual heartless brutality!
As you should be well aware, a great roiling mass of Walking Dead fans wouldn’t mind at all if Negan took a bullet between the eyes in the opening scene of next season, and the Saviors organization was put down within the first five minutes of the opening credits so we can finally move on to a new storyline. (Did we say the first five minutes? We meant the first three minutes.)
But it was our fervent wish that you stretch out and extend the Negan/Saviors story despite the unecessarily long time it has already gone on. The fact of the matter is we’ve rubbed our clitorises and penises raw over the seemeingly never-ending Saviors saga. We just can’t get enough of it! That the Negan and the Saviors plot is a quantum singularity of derivation of previous Walking Dead narratives has not dimmed the fact that watching the sadistic aspects of Negan and his S&M bunch has developed, for us, into an unhealthy fetish.
Sure, the barbarism of Negan and his henchmen and henchwomen has gone beyond the definition of predictable, to the point where we’ve contacted the staff of the OED to come up with a new word for it. (Maybe David J Peterson can help. Will contact HBO! Maybe not. Those guys burn through plotlines faster than a dynamite fuse. That’s not what we want.) But that does not dim for us in the slightest our fervent wish that you can keep this up. Please think about arranging some sort of truce/diversion/whatever kind of plot points you can come up with to keep the Negan/Saviors thing going on for at least two or three more seasons. Heck, maybe we’ll just change the name of the show to Negan and the Saviors Torture and Terrorize Your Favorite Characters Into Perpetuity! (Maybe we can have Daryl captured and tortured again. Maybe more than a few more times! Or the characters can trade off.)
Again, thanks for the good work. Please pay no mind to the increasingly bored and frustrated fans, even if they are starting to glare and moan and groan like a gigantic horde of zombies.
Reagrds,
The Owners and Executives of AMC
